Teacher asked to a student, “If you see a man beating his donkey and you go to stop him, what virtue would you be showing?”
The student replied, “Brotherly Love.”
Showing posts with label short joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short joke. Show all posts
shadi nahi kar sakta
Boyfriend to Girlfriend: Darling main tumse shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai?
Boyfriend: Ek biwi aur 3 bacche…
2009 LATEST SHOR JOKES
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from
NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
_________________
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from
NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
PAPU PASS HO GAYA
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO ! “!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L”
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
PAPPU : I is…
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.”
PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
************ *****
TEACHER : “Can anybody give an example of ” COINCIDENCE?”
PAPPU : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
************ *****
TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”
************ *****
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
************ *****
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.
************ *****
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don’t have to , my mom is a good cook.
************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as yourbrother’s. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it’s the same dog !
************ ****
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
2009 SHORT JOKES COLLECTION
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
———— - ——– ——— ——— ——— –
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
——– —- ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It’s called marriage.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there’s no choice.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Here comes the Ultimate One
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
———— - ——– ——— ——— ——— –
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
——– —- ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It’s called marriage.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there’s no choice.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Here comes the Ultimate One
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
long LIFE FORMULA
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
ur FUTUR
FUTURE OF UR LOVE :
Write Ur name & Ur lover’s name.
And send it to . .
.
.
.
Ur father’s phone. He will tell Ur future.
Write Ur name & Ur lover’s name.
And send it to . .
.
.
.
Ur father’s phone. He will tell Ur future.
Mummy returns
….If Jayalalita Wins
in the Next Election
and Becomes the
CM again,
What would the
Public say.?
?
?
“The Mummy Returns”
do u want to hear dirty joke
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
teacher to student
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
