signs mean

Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye to khana free.

Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.

Sign at a barber’s saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.

A traffic slogan:
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough
or else they never will be.

THE BEST ONE:

Its God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.
- Indian Armed Forces

soldier

First soldier : “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”

Second soldier : “No way, Jose!”

First soldier : “Why not?”

Second soldier : “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKenzie asks: “So how are your men?”

“Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie.“

“I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they’re the bravest men all over the country.” “Well, my men are very brave, too.”

“I’d like to see that.”

Sorry for that!

Ek angrez ek gaun mein ja raha tha ke raaste mein achanak ek aurat se takra gaya.
Aur usne aurat se mafi magne ki soch karli:

Angrez: Sorry for that!

Aurat: Sala ek toh takrata hai aur upar se bolta hai saree phar de!

Monkey: “Handling the steering !!!”

Once a plane crashed somewhere in the mountains, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand English and reply. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: “When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “Tying their belts”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses doing?”
Monkey: “Saying Hello! Good morning!”

Officer: “What were the pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Checking the system”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Looking for my people”

Officer: “After 10 minutes what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “Having beverages and snacks”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses doing?”
Monkey: “Serving the travelers”

Officer: “What were the Pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Handling the steering”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Eating & throwing”

Officer: “After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “Some were sleeping and some were reading”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses ?”
Monkey: “Make up”

Officer: “What were the pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Handling the steering”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Nothing”

Officer: “Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “All were sleeping”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses doing?”
Monkey: “Kissing the pilots”

Officer: “What were the pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Responding”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Handling the steering !!!”

Humphty Dumphty

Original

Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men
Couldn’t put Humphty Dumphty
together again

Punjabi Translation:

Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te’
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.

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